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Things I Learned from Cosmo features the terrible advice given to women by Cosmopolitan Magazine (and other ladymags).

I just want to take a moment to reiterate that the commentary on this blog is purely sarcastic.

I’m a staunch feminist who is appalled by many of the things Cosmo tells women they should do. I know they also do good things. In fact, much of what I learned about my body and sexuality as a teenager started with magazines. I’m not here to discredit those good things Cosmo does but instead question why a magazine aimed at women seems to hate them so much.

The magazine follows the basic principles women need to change in order to make themselves appealing to men, and women, in the most basic sense, are inherently flawed. It preys on the insecurities of women (who have been told consistently by the media that they are not good enough) and, instead of teaching them that society is the one that is wrong, it teaches them that they are the ones with the problem.

This sexism doesn’t just harm women (though, if it did, that would be more than enough to piss me the hell off). It’s clear that Cosmo believes that men are nothing more than walking stereotypes as well.

The magazine also drastically under-represents people of color, lesbians, gays, transgendered and intersex individuals. It pretends that heterosexual couples are the only couples that exist and frankly, matter.

The scariest part is that it does all of this under the guise of helping you. Cosmo claims to be a magazine for women, by women, to help women, when in reality, Cosmo is like that mean friend from high school who tells you that you should tooootally wear those white pleather pants to the dance and then laughs at you behind your back when you do (and gets other people to laugh at you, too)  all so that they can comfort you later and take credit for being “a good friend.”

This blog exists to poke fun at that advice in what is hopefully a relatable and fun way. Suggestions or comments are welcome. I’m only human and consistently examining my language and privilege, so feel free to let me know if anything I’m doing is hurtful or offensive.