FAQ
Why are you so offensive?
I do not believe (nor follow) any of the advice that Cosmo gives. Much of the commentary following their advice (indicated by italics and indentation) is complete sarcasm. I take Cosmo’s implied beliefs about men and women and exaggerate them, usually to the extreme.
On a basic level, Cosmo (generally) thinks that men are: sex-crazy fiends, incapable of expressing emotion, obsessed with sports and only eat meat.
Cosmo (generally) thinks that women are: insecure, always trying to figure out how to make their man happy (and it’s always a man, never a woman, because lesbians/bisexuals/pansexuals/etc don’t exist, apparently) and desperately seeking approval from the world around them.
These assumptions are pretty offensive, but I use them to make fun of the advice. My apologies if that seems offensive. I solemnly swear that I am actually a feminist. You can head over to my personal tumblr if you don’t believe me.
If you still feel offended, please feel free to message me and let me know what I am doing that’s hurtful. I don’t want to upset anyone.
How can you criticize Cosmo’s advice? What do you know about relationships, anyway?
I can criticize Cosmo’s advice because I am a living, breathing, thinking individual who enjoys examining things from a critical eye. And before you say, “Can’t you just ENJOY things in life instead of analyzing them?!” I’d like to point out that I enjoy MANY things in life, including writing this blog, so, point invalid.
What I know about relationships comes entirely from firsthand experience and I do not claim to have all (or any) of the answers. I only know what works for me and my partner. I’ve been in a committed relationship with my current boyfriend since high school. We’ve been together for nearly 5.5 years now and I’ve not had to do any of the silly things Cosmo tells me to do in order to make either of us happy.
My boyfriend is kind, loving, artistic, funny, romantic and he hates sports, proof that not “all men” are the same. (But he does love meat, so Cosmo at least got one thing right.)
Our relationship isn’t perfect but it’s fun and healthy and wonderful.
How did you come up with the idea for Things I Learned From Cosmo?
Truth be told, I wasn’t actually reading Cosmo when I came up with the idea. I was reading Redbook. I had turned to the recipe section and saw a picture of a delicious-looking hotdog. Beside it, there was a hamburger and a steak and suddenly I was like, “Shit, I need to make this ASAP because I am hungry.”
Except, when I looked at the caption, it read: DUDE FOODS!
My eyes couldn’t roll far enough back into my head.
“Women’s magazines” like Cosmopolitan and Redbook, despite occasionally having some good information, is mostly just misogynistic, stereotypical, sexist garbage repurposed as a lady-mag that claims to be concerned about YOU, SILLY WIMMENZ. Fear not: these magazines will tell you that you are too fat, too skinny, too ugly, too pretty, too jealous, too masculine, too feminine, too stupid, too smart and that you take pleasure in too many of the little things in life when you should actually be dedicating every second of your life to YOUR MAN. FUCKING DUH.
I started reading magazines when I was old enough to read and it’s a habit I just can’t seem to break. Truthfully, I LIKE reading those embarrassing confessions in Cosmo (my boyfriend and I read them together and try to guess the ending based just on the title because we are awesome); I enjoy some of the cute clothes in Glamour. And even though, as a feminist, I know that much of what I’m reading is bullshit, I still read it.
So, while BUST magazine obviously has all of my love (I bow down to you, you smart, sassy, amazing piece of literature), I do read the occasional “lady-mag.”
And it isn’t enough for me just to roll my eyes at the bad advice – mostly because I am worried my eyes will get stuck that way. Instead, LET’S FUCKING TUMBLE ABOUT IT, OKAY?