Cosmo Taught Me: Dudes Wearing Women’s Clothing is Laughable.
In every issue of Cosmo, they have the “Stud Meter.” It is just as creative and imaginative as you might think from the name. It’s a plethora of photos of “studs” (aka men) and they are ranked from “Kick-Ass” to “Lame-Ass.”
A sample “Stud Meter” from a previous issue:
As you can see, Prince Harry is KICK-ASS or “Studly,” most likely because he’s proven he’s manly and cool by dressing up in a Nazi costume and using racist slurs like only Real Men do. Peter Sarsgaard is toward the LAME-ASS or “Dud-ly” (get it? har har) portion of the meter, most likely because he’s been a theater actor and we all know action movies are the only real way to prove you’re a man.
Celebrities who are considered Kick-Ass are usually: white, super buff, often-nude or semi-nude in their photos, and doing something uber manly (like refusing to shave off their chest hair for a role in a film, a la Armie Hammer) or riding a bull (a la Taylor Lautner).
The Lame-Asses are usually dudes who: do something society deems “bad” (such as going to jail, like T.I.), act in a rude way (George Clooney refused to answer questions about his love life, which is “lame,” — cool ableist language, Cosmo!) OR act ultra-feminine.
Yeah, that’s fucking right. LAME-ASSES ARE DUDES WHO ACT IN A FEMININE WAY.
Case in point this month? Justin Beiber.
Cosmo uses a photo from the VMAs to say:
He recently revealed that he wears women’s jeans. Haha—ahem-hahahaha!
I tooootally agree, Cosmo! Guys who wear women’s clothes? WOW. GROSS. Why would a man ever, ever, ever want to be associated with anything so FEMININE and LOW-BROW? Let’s all point and laugh at Justin Beiber and forget the fact that he’s just a teenager consistently asked “ARE YOU GAY?” as if it’s anyone’s business or because everyone can now tell someone’s gay simply from looking at them.
Point with me, now, as Cosmo would have us do, so we can all laugh at Justin for wearing women’s clothes and feel really good about ourselves and mature and like we’re totally above being asshats. I mean, real life is just like high school, right? He wore women’s clothes so he’s just asking for it. Hahahahahahaha!
